Let's face facts, former friends. Activity on this blog has waned. "Why?" you ask. I have no certain answer, but I suspect the usual sources. That's right: apathy, intoxication, deceit. "Deceit?" you say. "Yes," I reply. Because we are not being honest with ourselves. We are not seeing ourselves clearly.
So, let us be honest: using this blog as a forum for keeping each other up-to-date on our "successes" is an ensurer of doom, and an inciter of bile. Come on! I for one am "successful" at only two things: weeping and prostration. Naturally, therefore, when I hear of your more legitimate successes--scant as they may be!--I hate you even more. And I already hated you a lot.
So let us be frank about our hatred of ourselves and each other. Let us use this blog as a forum for keeping each other up to date on our depressing failures and successful depressions. Let us use this blog as a forum for gossip. What's the latest on our favorite aged pal, for example? You know the one I mean--he whose fondness for pastels, real estate appraisal, and pseudo-underage "writers" kept him lovable?
And let's not stop there! No! This blog could also serve as a forum for sincere meditations on questions such as the following: why did the classes immediately above and below us deem us so bereft of attraction and likability? I once heard us collectively described, for example, as "oddly sexless": discuss.
And finally! And most importantly! Now that many of us find ourselves at safe distance from friends and enemies alike, why not put it all out there? Why not attain the intimacy that proximity made impossible? Come on! Tell: Who did you loathe? Who did you love?
I'll get things started. Tyler Peterson was pretty much the most lovable and sympathetic being around, wouldn't you say? And Albert was pretty great too! So innocent, so fallen! So married! ...I also really liked Anjali.
I hated all those lame "poets," though. Thank god they never post on this blog! (Except Kiki!) (Hey, Kiks!)
3 comments:
Giant Kitten, I thought you liked ME the best (damn you, Tyler, always stealing my thunder!).
I think I loathed and loved most everyone in equal parts. But I have a soft spot for Julia Whicker, my first pal.
Also, I thought Lauren Haldeman seemed pretty badass.
And I will say only this: Robert Monroe, you never wrote comments.
Get your own BFF, bitch -- Tyler Peterson is spoken for.
I loathed all of you. But you probably guessed that already. It's always the "nice" one who's secretly plotting to push you down the stairs.
Whatever, Mike. Tyler says you never call.
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